I grew up in Germany, moving twice before age 7, and spending the majority of my childhood and teenage years in a small village in Lower Saxony. My parents were born and raised at the end of World War II, (understanding generational trauma and being able to transform that with PSYCH-K® has been a game changer!!) and dealt with their trauma the best they could.
My dad was a pharmacist, botanist, and food chemist. A Manifesting Generator and super geek, who read a book a day in his retirement, and never stopped learning. He immigrated from east to west Germany on his own, around the same age I immigrated to America. His passions for plants, nature, healing, medicine, holistic approaches, knowledge, science, philosophy, music, architecture, and religion inspired a large part of my choices and path. My mother was an English, French, and German professor before having my two brothers and me.
I grew up roaming the hills and fields, collecting random animals as pets (think worms, frogs), playing several instruments (violin, flutes, piano), singing in a church choir, dancing ballet, and playing puppet theater.
I had a challenging birth and almost died of a lack of oxygen at age 2, and my first memory is of me hovering over my meat suit and seeing my parents crying by my bed. I experienced my childhood and teenage years as eccentric, filled with conflict and physical punishments. Both my parents smoked (mom cigarette and dad cigar), and emotions were judged as silly and weak, and either not expressed at all, or expressed in jarring and dramatic ways. Intelligence, logic, common sense, and tradition were highly valued.
The stress of it all would show up as disease in my body: headaches, digestive issues, frequent infections. I was often told that I am ‘sensitive and sickly.’
My knee caps are not the right size, so they would dislocate often, sometimes several times a day. In Germany, school sport programs were not really a thing, so I never played sports or did anything athletic until my first job at an all women’s gym.
At 15, I started to date, consciously decided not to feel my feelings anymore, experiment with smoking cigarettes and drinking beer. My boyfriend, cigs, and parties became the way I coped with the tension and lack of safety I felt at home.
My parents wanted me to go to medical school, and I wanted to study music and then fashion design, but did not feel good enough to pursue either. After graduating high school, I missed the entrance exam to medical school by one point, and ‘the future plan fell apart.’
So I decided to take a job at an all women’s gym, and take a beat to decide what I actually wanted to do. For a hot second, I enrolled in an exercise science program, but quickly realized that while I was ‘gym-fit’, playing sports still wasn’t for me, so I quit within the first semester. Meanwhile, I fell in love with helping women, exercise, mindfulness, and healthy living. I quickly soaked up all the certifications: personal trainer, group fitness instructor, spinning, pilates, hip hop, step aerobic, you name it, I was a full blown gym bunny in the 90s with thongs and step touch!
Being a Manifestor with two Mani Gens as parents, I was conditioned to do everything, and a lot of it, so I burned myself out at 19, teaching classes and training every day, without any mental or emotional self care. I could not rest; it would bring up all the agitation I was running away from.
So I developed a dependency on exercise, and a habit of emotional eating and binging. This binge-restrict-over exercise cycle stayed with me until my 30s.
In working with hundreds of women, I became an expert in female insecurities, and felt inspired to find and offer solutions that could help us all. I would usually self experiment, and then share what works and what does not.
At 19, I read my first metaphysical book, learned about the mind-body-spirit connection, and how suppressed trauma and emotions can manifest as disease in the body or show up as ‘self destructive’ patterns.
I wanted to study whatever could help us all with all that, so I decided to become a Physiotherapist (chiropractic, massage, athletic training, physiotherapy degree), and moved to Braunschweig to go to a private technical college. I continued to work as a trainer and group fitness instructor, and worked in 7 different gyms across town while going to school from 8-4 every day.
Childhood trauma and my unhealthy coping patterns compounded eventually, and I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid. I was aware that I was overgiving and overfunctioning, but it felt impossible to change that.
Each of my personal experiences gifted me with inspiration on my professional path and deep understanding, compassion, and empathy for others.
After graduating college, I took a job in a praxis that focussed on supporting the local sports teams, and I worked with field hockey, volleyball, and american football teams as an athletic trainer and physical therapy.
Immigrating to the US
At 22, I met my ex husband, and at 23 immigrated to the states. We were married almost 13 years and lived in Charleston, SC for the majority of the time.
The transition to the states was humbling. My college degree was not transferred, so I got savvy, and started teaching group fitness classes and offered holistic personal training, using my PT knowledge to support my clients more deeply. I was really good at it, and didn’t realize that the universe had basically pushed me out of the conditioned path yet again to be an entrepreneur at 24. I never really worked for anyone since (except for teaching yoga on the side).
By 25, we moved to Charleston, and I started to feel safe and in charge of my own life, and ready to ‘grow up’. I went to a fabulous healer, Dr Deena on Folly Beach, and she helped me get clear on what I wanted by asking me what an ideal day would look and feel like for me? I started to really take charge of what I was co-creating and realized I just wanted to sit with people in my cozy home and listen to them, and help them heal and solve their issues.
‘Life coaching’ was not yet a common profession or term, so at the time, I just described what I saw and felt.
It took 8 years for me to manifest.
Around that time, I dragged my partner to a communication workshop with David Michael, and that was the beginning of my first spiritual awakening.
In this workshop, we were taught how to listen, without interpretation, assumption, or projection. And for the first time in my life, I experienced feeling heard. And we were taught how to communicate clearly, meaning what we say and saying what we mean.
Wow. My world exploded, and I studied with David for many years, using shamic practices, the ‘course in miracles,’ shadow work, and radical honesty & personal accountability.
That work brought up supressed sexual trauma from college, all my childhood stuff, and what felt like lifetimes of sadness. And it was really intense. In Hindsight, we were trying to solve subconscious issues and trauma with conscious tools. It all helped, and it also felt super hard and rigid.
At 26, I decided to commit to a year of living alcohol free, and that turned into 8 years.
During that time, I became certified in Yoga, Ayurveda, and studied whatever I could to raise my consciousness and vibrations and help others to do the same.
Conditioned to go Back to School
I didn’t yet know about the subconscious mind and conditioning, so when the voice between my ears said that I should go back to college to be more legit, I believed that is what I ‘should’ do.
I enrolled at the College of Charleston, worked full time at a downtown gym, and kept working with David.
Even though I realized my calling had found me and didn’t need this degree for it, I finished a degree in health education and psychology anyway with honors. At the time, my subconscious trauma response was to be a full blown perfectionist.
I kept working at the gym and started to share some of the conscious work. I created my own style of spiritual group fitness, blending yoga, pilates, boxing, and plyometrics with tips on how to love yourself and take care of yourself.
Eight years after realizing that I just wanted to sit and talk to people, I had cocreated that reality. I was a holistic life coach, working with clients from different parts in the world virtually, and seeing clients in my home office.
For the next few years, I downstreamed by life and loved my new reality.
My World Fell Apart
In the fall of 2013, almost a decade after the first one, I experienced my second spiritual awakening. My partner revealed that he had been unfaithful for 80% of our marriage. It felt excruciatingly painful and also a relief. As for those ten years, I felt something off and thought it was me. I had abandoned myself and my intuition when it came to my marriage because at the time, I believed that making a vow in front of God meant I needed to stay and stick it out, even though I felt we had grown apart after 3 years.
So for a whole decade I was not really with myself, codependent and living in the conditioning that I thought I ‘should’ live in.
Coming Back to “Me”
Now I help others to show up for themselves and trust their intuition and unlearn the conditioned BS.
I intuitively gave myself 2 years to heal, while not pushing anything else forward in my life. I learned all that I could about grief, and loving yourself in it. I learned all that I could about healing, empathy, codependency, and shadow work to move forward.
It was a really challenging and exhausting chapter, and inspired a quest for some deeper healing. It indeed took two years to feel solid and safe again in my body and not wake up with panic and overwhelming sadness.
At the time, I was coaching full time, and teaching yoga a few times a week.
I began to offer workshops on grief, mini retreats for nervous system care and empowerment, and partnered with a few wonderful friends and practitioners to bring community together in healing ways.
Another Dose of Grief
Just when I felt myself again, I got a phone call from Germany that my dad was in the hospital and they don’t know whats wrong. I sensed it was bad and flew home immediately. A day later, he was diagnosed with endstage 4 cancer and had only 3-6 months to live.
I decided to stay as long as it took, and worked remotely from Germany.
My dad and I spent the most beautiful and present month together, until he left his body.
I was with him for 17 hours, holding his hand, praying, meditating. Eventually, I felt annoyed it took so long, and wondered why he is not leaving. I felt his hand in mine and realized I was the one holding on. His last words were ‘thank you,’ and his last lesson was that I needed to let go and trust people to handle their own lives (and deaths).
The Growth Continued
When I came back to the states 2 months after his death, I felt very inspired to offer more in depth and trauma-informed coaching.
PSYCH-K® came into my life, and I dismissed it for being ‘too good to be true.’ It took three more years for me to loop back around to it.
Instead, I fell in love with sound healing and began to offer sound baths all around town.
In 2017, I started teaching meditation and soundbaths at Still Soul Studio and eventually partnered with owner Kelly George until Fall 2020.
In my coaching practice and own healing journey, I felt like I was still missing something.
I had started getting into Human Design and that blew my mind wide open and completely shifted my understanding of myself and others.
I am a 6/3 splenic manifestor, and my life suddenly made sense.
I had still been overfunctioning and doing way too much for my energy type and path.
Human Design makes us super quickly aware of how deeply conditioned we are, and the need to unlearn those limiting beliefs.
This Time, I Listened
In my quest, I came across PSYCH-K® again – go figure – and signed up for the training without having any idea what I was getting into, just following my instinct.
Within 5 minutes of the training I knew I had found my calling. I immediately changed my entire praxis to integrative subconscious coaching, and my client’s results skyrocketed.
And so did I. Being able to also clear the subconscious of the traumas and stresses of the past was a complete game changer. I felt like a new person with a more me personality.
In 2020, as the world changed, I saw all the ways I was not aligned with my soul’s path and simplified. I left the partnership with Still Studio and went 100% virtual.
I called Katie, and we started the CEO Wisdom!!
In February 2021, I put my belongings in storage and realized a goal of mine: to travel and coach from anywhere.
As I am writing this, I am still on this adventure a year later, and open and curious where I might end up.
And I am on a mission to revolutionize the mental health industry, and our understanding of trauma and trauma responses.