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Katie Kovaleski & Elli Richter

Elli’s Corner: WEIGHT LOSS & the subconscious mind

by | May 6, 2022 | Anxiety, Co-Dependency, Nervous System, PSYCH-K®, Self-Care, Trauma

I have been helping people to love themselves and their meatsuits, and to make changes to their bodies, diets, and lifestyle since I am 19 years old. And I used to battle with emotional eating, binge eating, overexercising, and hating my meatsuit myself. 

First of all, not feeling light, relaxed and free in our skin is really uncomfortable and can bring up so much shame, rage, disgust, self hatred, sadness, disappointment, and guilt. A lot of brilliant people hold back their gifts or keep themselves small in their relationships because of the way they perceive themselves.

Coming to a place of radical love and acceptance always needs to be the first step. We actually do not become any happier or fill the holes in our hearts by changing our appearance – it does however feel really good to be comfortable in your skin and just live your life. Coming from a place of love always takes us all the way. Coming from a place of shame creates an on/off diet cycle that feels like poop.

The weight loss industry thrives on the desperation of these moments, and I don’t know about you, but I used to spend a lot of money on different ‘solutions’; books, products, workouts, detox supplements, you name it, I tried it.

So why have we not yet found ‘the key’?

Perhaps because ME/YOU, we ARE the key.

Let me explain. 

Our behaviors and habitual patterns, like reaching for more caffeine or sugar when we are  tired, or reaching for junk food when we are sad, or celebrating with comfort food or alcohol, or eating in front of the TV…all these behaviors are programmed and conditioned, and run on autopilot; the subconscious mind.

Our beliefs become our thoughts.

Our thoughts become our words.

Our words become our actions.

Our actions become our patterns and life

(paraphrased Ghandi quote)

Most weight loss programs or attempts focus on behavior modifications only, without making the changes at the level of Belief (the subconscious level).

The subconscious mind regulates our physiology; our muscle contraction, digestion, nervous system, etc. Yes, you might have hormonal imbalances as a physical manifestation, and that for sure needs to be addressed through the body, and – the root cause always lives in the subconscious mind, as it governs our physiology and everything that is on autopilot.

The subconscious mind stores everything that we experience from the moment of conception. Our models of reality are based on what we hear, feel, sense, and pick up over time.

Say your mother was always on a diet, or your father would comment on your body, or you got teased or sexualized or shamed for anything body/looks related.

That creates a belief and perception about yourself like

‘My butt is too big’

‘I need to lose weight’

‘I m not loveable’

‘I m not good enough’

Or say you watched your parents celebrate good news and togetherness with big feasts. That creates a subconscious association of needing to eat a lot when you are happy, and all celebrations centering around food. 

We all have limiting beliefs about our bodies, weight, food, what we ‘should’ do to lose weight or be healthy, and what is possible for us. Making changes to your subconscious mind with PSYCH-K sets you up for success with ease and even fun!!!

Unprocessed Trauma, aka any experience that was emotionally charged, is also stored in the subconscious mind. Weight is often a form of protection, and I have seen it a lot that people do all the ‘right things’ to lose weight, and nothing happens until they address the unprocessed emotions and unpack that ‘baggage’. With subconscious integrative therapy, you can do this super gently and quickly.

Not having boundaries and not expressing feelings is another unconscious reason many people are not losing weight.

When we just give, give, give, without taking time to recharge, we are always skirting on the edges of a burnout, energetically depleted. Food is a great way to feel comforted, grounded, and nurtured when we feel depleted. Learning to balance the giving and receiving is key to our health and weight. 

With subconscious change, you can easily release the anxiety, guilt and resistance towards saying no and prioritizing yourself. Feeling guilty and bad about self care is a common conditioned program that goes back many generations, and it is time to update these programs!

Same with expressing emotions. A lot of people are conditioned to ‘keep the peace’, to not ‘rock the boat’ or have been told they are ‘too much’…so they end up not expressing their feelings and needs, literally unconsciously stuffing them down with food.

We can all use willpower, force, and discipline to make changes. We are, after all, incredibly powerful. I am not saying that you cannot lose weight without subconscious change. I have been able to and millions of people have been able to. It is the keeping it off and actually no longer worrying about it part that is missing for a lot of us. 

There is another way; by changing our subconscious programs and mindset, we don’t need willpower, or a lot of force, AND, by making changes at the root, we are able to make LASTING changes.

Once you change your mindset, by using a modality that can do that (PSYCH-K), behavioral changes come easy, and the way you think and feel aligns more and more with what your soul knows to be true.

On a side note, affirmations only work if you already believe them. I’m not a fan of using affirmations, because when we affirm something we don’t believe, we create more stress in the system.

Speaking of stress – most weight loss approaches do not really teach you how to regulate your nervous system on a daily basis. The nervous system is governed by the subconscious mind, and as you clear trauma and limiting beliefs, your nervous system will feel so much more balanced! And in our day to day, it is super important to center your self care around your nervous system, and create rituals, routines, and workflows in a way that allows your system to thrive. Without regulating our nervous system, you might find yourself pressing the ‘f*ck it’ button, aka just ditch your intentions and eat whatever, just to start again tomorrow.

Eating when we are stressed, tired, overwhelmed is very common and learning to release stress naturally begins with subconscious change and ends with using breathwork, grounding techniques, and somatic practices to help your system let go and unwind.

Lastly, not really doing what lights us up is another reason weight loss and reaching health goals  can be challenging. When everything feels hard, and nothing is really aligned with what we really want, we are perpetually tired and exhausted and food might be the only place of comfort. Most people believe their limitations, because they feel so real.

‘I can’t change jobs, they need me’

‘I won’t be able to make money doing what i really want to do’

‘It is too hard, and i am too old’

A belief is just a thought we keep thinking and can be changed.

As you change your beliefs, your actions change and you find yourself doing things you used to not believe you could

In our peaceful weight loss course, we do and address all of that and more. 

And if you are not a group person, you can do this with me one-on-one https://ellirichter.com/contact-3/

You are not broken, and it is not about more willpower.

It is about nervous system regulation, learning to self soothe without food, trusting your full body YES/NO (vs BS rules and other people’s opinions)

and making the subconscious changes to release unprocessed trauma and uplevel your mindset.

So much love, Elli