Let’s be real – no one wants to be called a Narcissist. And for some reason, over the last few years, this psychological term has become massively overused.
The terms narcissist and narcissism have gained plenty of traction on social media. And this has allowed anyone with an I-phone to play with diagnosing as a hobby.
But here’s the thing – not liking someone’s behavior doesn’t make them a narcissist. Check out the video below to hear our podcast mini-sode all about why it’s time to drop the word’s narcissist and narcissism.
So who is ACTUALLY a narcissist?
Statistically and diagnostically, only about .5 percent of our country’s population could be clinically diagnosed with narcissism. When you break that number down that’s about, roughly, 164,000 narcissist’s in our country. Which makes it highly unlikely that you’re encountering multiple narcissists in your day-to-day life.
So let’s drop the term as a buzz word and figure out a different way to deal with people we judge to be a-holes. Because that’s what it comes down to, right? “I don’t like the way you are behaving so I’m going to erroneously diagnose you with a personality disorder.” YIKES.
Finding a better way than calling everyone a narcissist:
Communication, boundaries, accountability and crucial conversations all go out the window (we bypass them) by slapping a label on the person’s forehead instead. Because the label isn’t just a label, it’s passive aggressively sending a message. Like: “I have to stay away from you, you’re dangerous and scary.” And that allows the label giver to bypass their part in the dynamic, allows them to avoid working through their stuff and avoid letting the other person know the impact their behavior has on you.
Alternative’s to narcissism:
Here’s what helpful to know instead when wanting to call someone a narcissist:
- There are very few true narcissists
- It’s okay to not like someone’s behavior
- You don’t have to diagnose people whose behavior you don’t like
- Undesirable behavior is almost always the result of trauma
- The impact of trauma resides in the subconscious mind
- The subconscious mind can only be changed through specific modalities, PSYCH-K is one of those
- Our willingness to accept other people’s trauma is usually proportionate to how willing we are to accept our own
- We don’t have to continue to engage with people we find consistently offensive (this is called boundary setting)
- The narcissist is also called the “villain” in co-dependency, chances are, if we are encountering lots of villains, we are either currently also playing that role or have in the past
- Awareness and understanding can lead to compassion, learning about co-dependency can make a huge impact with how you deal with the perceived a-holes in your life
Ready to feel, deal and heal?
We know it’s not fun to deal with people who offend us. It has taken us a few combined decades to fully understand that most people, once they understand co-dependency, can easily make changes in their lives to eliminate the unwanted people, places & situations they used to habitually find themselves encountering.
If you’re ready to drop the buzz words narcissist and narcissism join us for our next 6-week series “Relationship Reboot.” We will deep dive into co-dependency, dispel more myths on narcissism and give you tangible tools for eliminating the things and people in your life that drive you crazy. Classes start on 7/11 <3